Over the weekend...

Hdawg called me.

She left a voicemail that started with, "I know I usually don't call you when you're not here..."


What???

Friday October, 24, 2008. In at 10.

So, I'm not sure who hdawg thinks I am. But she is pretty sure she knows me very well.

She talked to me about religion. More specifically which church I like best. How about, I don't like any church, and I think organized religion is a crutch and a joke? In my opinion, a higher power is just something weaker people use to feel better about shitty things that have happened to them. To me, the shitty things that have happened to me just made me not believe. But that's not what this blog is about, so moving on. So, she is Jewish. And that led me to feel comfortable enough to let loose a little bit about the Catholic church. I told her (the truth) that I had been to a few diferent kinds of Christian "gatherings" but that I was not very religious. She didn't seem too offended. But continued on to say that she talks to God when no one is there to talk to, and she's sure I do too, because he always listens, and does what "He" can to help me out. ha ha ha ha.

She also told me that she thinks that I am like her, and I go to bars for the atmosphere and the music, rather than the drinks. I said well I go to hang out with my friends, but on occassion it is very much about the drinks.

(Here is the best part of it all)

She was standing very close to me, and goes, "are you wearing eyeshadow today?" I say no. She says, "Oh, it looks like it. You're an artist, you would know this-- Do some people just have natural accents on their faces that give the impression they are wearing eyeshadow?" UM. I have told this woman so many times that I am NOT an artist. I am a photographer. I have no artistic ability other than taking pictures. But she also seems to think that being an artist, I know all kinds of ridiculous things that the average "artist" does not know.

She also admitted that she smoked weed once when she was 18. She said it did not get her high, so she never tried it again. Sometimes being there isn't so bad, and kind of a LOL.

October 22, 2008. In at 3:00

Oh hdawg.

I got 5 phone calls between Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday before I came in. 3 voiccemails, because I cannot bear talking to her on the phone sometimes. Lori, Hams, and Corey witnessed what a phone call with her is like. She had an extensive shopping list that she wanted me to get before I came in. At 8:15 this morning, she called to tell me that the spatula she wants should be black and plastic, not metal, because metal spatulas burn her hand. She also explained that she had to have me get a new spatula because she has lost hers somewhere around the house. (I have no idea.)

Another item I had to pick up for her was a thermometer. She was absolutely thrilled to see that I got her a digital thermometer and wanted to know where I found such a thing. (I am thinking I found them in the mid to late 90s??) She is very happy to have this item because now she won't drop it and spill mercury on the floor. She says everything she asks me to do, I do better than she could've imagined.

Also, she has people who come in and clean the house for her. They told her that she should air out the house for a couple minutes when they were done. They left at 3. Both doors were propped open, and all the windows were open at 5. It was like 40 degrees outside today...No wonder she is sick and cannot recover from her cold.

And, lastly, she has made herself an eating schedule, because if she does not eat before 4pm, she starts to mentally lash out. She says just because I don't feel her mentally lashing out on me doesn't mean it isn't happening and she is sorry. Also, she wants to stop this because she knows the professor can feel it and he is far too kind and does not deserve such treatment.


Overall, a pretty mild day with the hdawg.

Friday, October 17, 2008. In at 10.

Today has been relatively calm.  It's a nice change of pace.  Besides her usual, telling me that I am wise beyond my years and very mature  (that's how well she knows me, haha) it's been good.

No annoyances, just one specific quirky thing.

"When I get very stressed out, I like to do something fun during my day like look at the grass." - hdawg.

Andddd, that is all.

Wednesday October 15, 2008. In at 3.

She was exceptionally exciting today.

A few months back, at the beginning of summer, she wrote this very long letter to the professor that she is in love with.  She gave it to him, and apparently he lost it.  He asked for a condensed version of the original letter, as he is a political science professor and spends much time reading.

Her new letter discusses that while they communicate very well telepathically and he is always sending her good vibes, they need to start communicating beyond telepathy.  She told me she does not like e-mail because it is impersonal; cell phones because she runs up peoples minutes (Oh really hdawg? You have no problem calling me for 20 minute daytime phone calls.)  Now, love letters, of course, are very sweet.  But come on, it's 2008.

Later on, she went to write a note down on a blue flashcard.  She told me she hates to use her blue flashcards, because they match her tablecloth...

After that, she had a little stressed out moment (when she has these moments, she lets her head fall forward, then jolts back up and jerks her arms out. sometimes she mumbles "don't go there. don't do it.")  She asked me if I felt any negative energy, because she accidentally sent some out to me.  It was unintentional and she is very sorry that she did it.

Up to this point, everything has just been silly like, "Oh hdawg are you for real?!"  She then proceeded to get annoying.  There were two documents.  One labeled "Home Schooling Middle School Curriculum" and one labeled "Home Schooling High School Curriculum".  They were IDENTICAL.  I mean, completely, word for word, identical.  She tells me to make the changes.  I was like hdawg, they're identical.  This can't be right.  High school and middle school obviously have different curriculums.  She goes no, they're right.  I'm like no that's not right at all.  She argues with me about this for several minutes, then I finally win. She apologizes profusely.

Oh man.

October 10, 2008. In at 11:00 am.

While it says "In at 11:00 am", my journey with H-dawg today begins at 10:30 when I get a phone call from her. On Wednesday, we had discussed me coming in at 10 or 11, whichever was better for me. I, being a person who enjoys sleep, was choosing to come in at 11. She called to ask if I had car troubles and that is why I was not there. No, h-dawg, it is because you told me I could come in at 10 or 11. She proceeded to give me a rundown (twice) of all of the things we will be accomplishing today, knowing that I was already on my way. She has a habit of that. Just let me be surprised! Or, if you must tell me, just give me a list when I arrive! You don't have to use 5 of my daytime minutes (which I use to check my e-mail while I am working for you) to tell me what I will be hearing in approximately a half hour.

When I get here, we start to work on this child's Science project (I came up with the project...plant growth in sunlight vs. shade...thank you, thank you.) We start to prepare the project, when h-dawg flips out because the Latin name for pea seeds is Pisum sativum. She is worried that a parent, or worse a student, might see this Latin name and be offended because it looks like the word "piss." I am trying very hard to explain to her that parents understand that that is the "Science" name for the pea plant, and will probably not assume you're trying to pervert their children's minds...but she is not agreeing with me. So she makes me white-out the Pisum sativum part of the packet.

Now, this last part of my day is an ongoing thing with h-dawg. She takes continuing studies classes at John's Hopkins University. More specifically, she takes a current events class every semester. Along with being a tutor for Dyslexic children, she is a musician and political activist. Current events/the election/the war/etc are all a very big deal to her. She spends a lot of time writing letters to politicians and stuff. While this doesn't really interest me, it was kind of cool that she got a personal letter signed by the late pope.

Anyway, that was a tangent. Her professor for these current event classes is this guy who she describes as, "George Clooney only better looking, hilarious, very knowledgeable about things that she is interested in , and all around a great guy." She has also told me that she was, "Dead from the neck down until she met him." I'm pretty sure I know what this means, and it really makes me uncomfortable. Hahah.

She thinks they are "involved" (they are not.) She also tells me that he sends her good telepathetic energies. He is always sending her good vibes and she is always mentally lashing out on him. She thinks that this is causing him to drift away from her. I have no idea what to make of any of this. But she spends a very large portion of our work time talking about this. I hope this is not how I feel and act when I am older.

Wednesday October 8, 2008. In at 3pm.

When I arrived at Hilda's today, I saw a note on the door that said,

"Dear Amy,

Thank you for your help-

If I am not back from the gym when you arrive, please work on literature photocopies, dot binders, and ledger. 

Thanks so much,

Hilda"

First, I have been with her since march, and she is spelling my name wrong.

Second, Her door is locked.  She has forgotten that the key she gave me did not work.

To solve this, I have to climb her fence (because she puts locks on every possible entrance) to check her back door.  That is locked, too.  I try the back basement door, which is open.

So, here I am working on her "literature photocopies."

It is 3:51 and she is not back from the gym yet.  I can hardly imagine what a 72 year old woman looks like at the gym.  I'm not sure I want to imagine.

More later,

Amie

About My Job.

My name is Amie.  I'm a senior photography student at MICA (Maryland Institute College of Art).

I found a part-time job on craigslist (mistake #1).

I am the "clerical assistant" to a very brilliant woman,

who focuses on helping students overcome learning differences.

She works out of her home, one-on-one with her students.

When I say "clerical assistant" I mean, anything that Hilda finds that needs done.

In the past I have done her gardening, drilled holes in her wall, painted rooms.

I do her shopping regularly.  So I am really more of a personal assistant.

She is 72 years old, with no immediate family, so I have sort of taken the place of her family.

While she is very brilliant, she can be a huge pain in the ass and often leaves me going "What the fuck??"

So, I am going to begin keeping this blog.  All about my days with Hilda.

If (by some small chance) nothing exciting happens on a particular day,

I will post some of the past ridiculous-ness that has come out of this job.

I am scheduled to end full-time school in December, at which point I expect to leave this job and find a full-time career.  However, we'll see what happens.