I now work in an office building. This is my first experience with a "real" job. Office chatter is something else. So, since I no longer have awesome hdawg stories, I'm going to turn this into an "office chatter quote of the day" type blog.
so here is today's:
"Popcorn should be banned in this office. No one knows how to cook it without burning it. The only way popcorn should be allowed is if it is served from a cart. With a monkey."
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Friday, November 28, 2008
i think that hilda wants to be a part of RSC.
The other day she complimented me on my RVCA shirt.
Today she told me that all of those shoes I always wear here (vans) are the most adorable shoes and she would love to own a pair.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
November 24, 2008. In at 10.
Conversation about her "boyfriend" as follows:
Hdawg- I was hoping to meet a younger man, you know around 50s, because I look younger myself. I also feel as though a 70 year old man cannot make love. I mean, I don't know, maybe they can. I feel like they can't though.
Me- I wouldn't really know.
She has been relatively sane lately, which is why I haven't been updating. Classic H-dawg moments coming soon.
Hdawg- I was hoping to meet a younger man, you know around 50s, because I look younger myself. I also feel as though a 70 year old man cannot make love. I mean, I don't know, maybe they can. I feel like they can't though.
Me- I wouldn't really know.
She has been relatively sane lately, which is why I haven't been updating. Classic H-dawg moments coming soon.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
not related, but vote for me!!
if i get enough votes, i get money for school.
please vote and spread the word!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008. In at 3.
Today was freaking ridiculous. She is seriously something else.
I come in and sit down. She is no where to be found. All of the sudden I hear singing coming from upstairs. She is upstairs singing a made up song about clothes. About 5 minutes pass and then I tell her I am there. She had no idea. Did not hear me come in the door.
She comes down and tells me I look glamorous. She says, "My, you look so glamorous, why are you dressed so glamorous today!?" I look down, I have a cardigan, jeans (with paint on them), and vans that were at one point in time white. They are brown now.
We sit together and she gives me a list of 5 or 6 things to do, which vary from outside work to typing work to shopping at 3 different stores for her. Then she wrote her own list of things to do. They included "Eat. Take vitamins. Rest." After she wrote them down she sighs and says, "Gosh, I have so much to do. It's too much. It's just too much to do." Really? Eat your 4th meal of the day (at 3pm) and take your 5 vitamins. Then lay on the couch until I need you to proofread a paper. Tough.
Then she talks to me for awhile about how she would love to write the Obama letter as the election gets closer but that she just doesn't see how she will have time. She rambles on for several minutes, reiterating this point, then stops and says, "I need to stop and eat. I haven't eaten all day. I've eaten breakfast and I've eaten lunch and that's it. I need to eat." I look at the clock, it's 3:45pm.
The most ridiculous part of my day, however, includes her asking me to go downstairs and get a bunch of big black trash bags so that we can cover up her plant beds in her front yard. I ask her why we are doing this and she says, "So the kids don't throw slime on them." I reply with, "Oh my god, kids in this neighborhood throw slime? What slime? Where do they get it?" She goes, "Oh well you never know. They could throw slime." I have absolutely no fucking clue what she is talking about, so I proceed to just tape these trashbags over her plant beds. It looks classy, let me tell you.
Such a lovely time. Real glad I got to escape to Starbucks afterwards.
I come in and sit down. She is no where to be found. All of the sudden I hear singing coming from upstairs. She is upstairs singing a made up song about clothes. About 5 minutes pass and then I tell her I am there. She had no idea. Did not hear me come in the door.
She comes down and tells me I look glamorous. She says, "My, you look so glamorous, why are you dressed so glamorous today!?" I look down, I have a cardigan, jeans (with paint on them), and vans that were at one point in time white. They are brown now.
We sit together and she gives me a list of 5 or 6 things to do, which vary from outside work to typing work to shopping at 3 different stores for her. Then she wrote her own list of things to do. They included "Eat. Take vitamins. Rest." After she wrote them down she sighs and says, "Gosh, I have so much to do. It's too much. It's just too much to do." Really? Eat your 4th meal of the day (at 3pm) and take your 5 vitamins. Then lay on the couch until I need you to proofread a paper. Tough.
Then she talks to me for awhile about how she would love to write the Obama letter as the election gets closer but that she just doesn't see how she will have time. She rambles on for several minutes, reiterating this point, then stops and says, "I need to stop and eat. I haven't eaten all day. I've eaten breakfast and I've eaten lunch and that's it. I need to eat." I look at the clock, it's 3:45pm.
The most ridiculous part of my day, however, includes her asking me to go downstairs and get a bunch of big black trash bags so that we can cover up her plant beds in her front yard. I ask her why we are doing this and she says, "So the kids don't throw slime on them." I reply with, "Oh my god, kids in this neighborhood throw slime? What slime? Where do they get it?" She goes, "Oh well you never know. They could throw slime." I have absolutely no fucking clue what she is talking about, so I proceed to just tape these trashbags over her plant beds. It looks classy, let me tell you.
Such a lovely time. Real glad I got to escape to Starbucks afterwards.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Over the weekend...
Hdawg called me.
She left a voicemail that started with, "I know I usually don't call you when you're not here..."
What???
She left a voicemail that started with, "I know I usually don't call you when you're not here..."
What???
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday October, 24, 2008. In at 10.
So, I'm not sure who hdawg thinks I am. But she is pretty sure she knows me very well.
She talked to me about religion. More specifically which church I like best. How about, I don't like any church, and I think organized religion is a crutch and a joke? In my opinion, a higher power is just something weaker people use to feel better about shitty things that have happened to them. To me, the shitty things that have happened to me just made me not believe. But that's not what this blog is about, so moving on. So, she is Jewish. And that led me to feel comfortable enough to let loose a little bit about the Catholic church. I told her (the truth) that I had been to a few diferent kinds of Christian "gatherings" but that I was not very religious. She didn't seem too offended. But continued on to say that she talks to God when no one is there to talk to, and she's sure I do too, because he always listens, and does what "He" can to help me out. ha ha ha ha.
She also told me that she thinks that I am like her, and I go to bars for the atmosphere and the music, rather than the drinks. I said well I go to hang out with my friends, but on occassion it is very much about the drinks.
(Here is the best part of it all)
She was standing very close to me, and goes, "are you wearing eyeshadow today?" I say no. She says, "Oh, it looks like it. You're an artist, you would know this-- Do some people just have natural accents on their faces that give the impression they are wearing eyeshadow?" UM. I have told this woman so many times that I am NOT an artist. I am a photographer. I have no artistic ability other than taking pictures. But she also seems to think that being an artist, I know all kinds of ridiculous things that the average "artist" does not know.
She also admitted that she smoked weed once when she was 18. She said it did not get her high, so she never tried it again. Sometimes being there isn't so bad, and kind of a LOL.
She talked to me about religion. More specifically which church I like best. How about, I don't like any church, and I think organized religion is a crutch and a joke? In my opinion, a higher power is just something weaker people use to feel better about shitty things that have happened to them. To me, the shitty things that have happened to me just made me not believe. But that's not what this blog is about, so moving on. So, she is Jewish. And that led me to feel comfortable enough to let loose a little bit about the Catholic church. I told her (the truth) that I had been to a few diferent kinds of Christian "gatherings" but that I was not very religious. She didn't seem too offended. But continued on to say that she talks to God when no one is there to talk to, and she's sure I do too, because he always listens, and does what "He" can to help me out. ha ha ha ha.
She also told me that she thinks that I am like her, and I go to bars for the atmosphere and the music, rather than the drinks. I said well I go to hang out with my friends, but on occassion it is very much about the drinks.
(Here is the best part of it all)
She was standing very close to me, and goes, "are you wearing eyeshadow today?" I say no. She says, "Oh, it looks like it. You're an artist, you would know this-- Do some people just have natural accents on their faces that give the impression they are wearing eyeshadow?" UM. I have told this woman so many times that I am NOT an artist. I am a photographer. I have no artistic ability other than taking pictures. But she also seems to think that being an artist, I know all kinds of ridiculous things that the average "artist" does not know.
She also admitted that she smoked weed once when she was 18. She said it did not get her high, so she never tried it again. Sometimes being there isn't so bad, and kind of a LOL.
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